After Hours Book Club
by Tybalt-tisk
Summary: It's one of those things that sort of just happened – like a routine whose edges are so blended, it's hard to tell when it all began and when it started to become more than just a simple, late-night routine.


Shiro couldn't exactly pinpoint when this became his habitual, late-night routine with Allura. He also couldn't remember when these after-hours book clubs became the highlight of his day. He couldn't even remember when he became seriously invested in the storyline of the Altean equivalent of Jane Eyre. Most importantly, he couldn't remember the night when they became so comfortable around each other. It's one of those things that sort of just happened – like a routine whose edges are so blended, it's hard to tell when it all began and when it started to become more than just a simple, late-night routine.

Night after night, chapter after chapter, page after page, not only do they dive deeper into Allura's literature collection, but they also dive deeper into...whatever _this_ is. There is a pull that neither of them realize is there, and by the time they do, it'll be too late because the walls that were never meant to stand this tall are already beginning to tumble down brick by brick. The way her legs now have permanent residency draped over his lap while she sits with her back propped up against the armrest of the sofa with a thick book resting in her hands is easily something that he's all too aware of all too fast.

Not that he's complaining, of course.

Every time she reads to him, she has his full, undivided attention. She's read this particular book a thousand times before and it shows – she's just as passionate on the battlefield as she is when she's surrounded by her own imagination and a tiny desk lamp. She's so animated is as she dances through the novel with ease. He loves how she captures all of the emotions and all of the passion each page emits as she orchestrates them into a symphony that plays for an audience that's only composed of him.

He loves it almost as much as he loves her.

He follows along with her silently, completely captivated by the world her voice alone builds for him and all of the twists and turns she reveals with a graceful flip of the page. Sometimes, there are words that leave her lips the translators can't quite interpret into a language he can understand, and it forces him to use the surrounding context to fully get a grasp of the scene. Most of the time, it's enough to keep him on track, but sometimes it isn't, and he finds himself falling behind because he knows he's missing out on something dire to the plot.

When he finds himself unable to move on, he's left with no choice but to interrupt her so she can translate for him. He'll never tell her, but those little breaks between sentences are his favorite. It's finally the time when she gets to talk about a language and a culture that was lost to power and corruption. He gets to see first hand just how she tends to illuminate the dark room like a beacon as she breaks the word down for him syllable by syllable and applies substance to it. Every time she talks about Altea, he sees how the light makes its way back into her eyes, and it's worth more than the brightest star.

Words can't describe how perfect it feels to be able to relax with her without the weight of the universe bearing down on their shoulders. The tiny room they find themselves in each night is their sanctuary and her voice is the bell that hangs in the steeple that invites him home. Yes...this was definitely his favorite part of the day; being with his home away from home. But then again, home is where the heart is.

Just when their heroine reaches the outskirts of the Moonfyre Forest, he finds himself more drained than he was just a second ago and he allows his head to tilt back until it's resting on the edge of the soft sofa. Allura's voice is as enchanting as the pages she reads from, and he can't help it when his eyes drift close at the melody. In the back of his mind, he knows that it's dangerous to act this natural with her like this; with his guard down, his lips loose, and with her legs in his lap as she practically reads him to sleep. All is good in his personal universe, even if it is just for a couple of hours.

"You're nodding off."

Her tone is direct enough to let him know that she's speaking to him and not reading through another piece of dialogue. Immediately, he's thrown back into in his own reality, away from the enchanted forest and the gossiping mushrooms, and his head straightens up as he turns to look at her sheepishly. She's cute as she peeks over the edge of the thick book to meet his tired eyes.

He stifles a yawn, hoping to sell his upcoming lie. "I was not nodding off," he counters, stretching his legs out, although it does nothing to help him sound convincing. "I was just resting my eyes. It's an Earth thing."

Allura nods at his explanation. "The action of resting your eyes was quite common on Altea as well. In fact, it was encouraged so that it decreases the chances of permanently damaging one's vision after long hours of sitting in front of computer generated images and texts." Shiro nods in agreement, glad to know that Earth and Altea have something else in common. "You," she points an accusing finger on his chest, "on the other hand, were falling asleep." She knows she's caught him in a lie. His red cheeks tell her so.

Taking advantage of his stupor, she uses the moment to look him over. His eyes look heavy, and judging by how slowly he blinks at her, she can tell he's tired. Exhausted maybe. Guilt surges through her in waves. She may have pushed him too hard tonight. It was a hectic day they had, and she was the one who insisted they read through to the end of chapter 12 because her excitement got the best of her.

It only takes a fraction of a tick before she makes her decision. Moving the page marker to the current page, she breaks the news, "Maybe we should call it a night?" It comes out more like a statement than it does a question - a reminder that she ranks him over him both on and off the battlefield.

He shakes his head. "No, we can keep going," he reassures her while his hands subconsciously tighten their hold on the legs in his lap. "Besides, we're about to find out the identity of Roiwer's ex-wife. You think it's Nixia? She sounded really suspicious, especially after she ran away after being confronted by Jed. Or maybe Claudeauxa of Rema? I like her. I hope it's her, but not really. I like Nixia because of the drama."

Allura's face turns mischievous, and she hides a grin behind her book. She draws her shoulders in close as she slouches into the couch while her toes curl in his lap as if she's trying to keep her herself from letting out a huge spoiler that's detrimental to the plot.

"Maybe?" she teases playfully. "We have to keep reading to find out, now don't we? But maybe another night." She closes the book and puts it aside.

Shiro rolls his eyes. "Seriously?" he says without an ounce of hostility in his voice. "You're gonna do me like that, Princess?" His reaction swells her heart because she knows that he's into this series just as much as she was when she first read it. She spent long nights after her studies binging it until completion. 10,000 odd years later, and she's doing the exact same thing. Except this time, she isn't alone.

She sticks her tongue out as a successful attempt to cover up her goofy grin and throws at small pillow at him just in case he still caught sight of it. "Yes seriously! The Tales of Weylolehn will still be here tomorrow night, Shiro," she promises.

Shiro's heart skips a beat. There's always something about the way she says his name when it's just the two of them. Out there; in front of the paladins, the coalition, and the entire universe, she says it in a tone that balances respect with the demand for his undivided attention. But here, in this tiny room hidden deep within the castle's walls; surrounded only by books, a small couch, and a dim light that hovers over her shoulder, it sounds as soft as silk and as sweet as honey. As much as he knows that he's reading too much into it – that she's just as relaxed as he is and that it's just her being friendly – he gives himself the luxury of pretending he owns something he knows he can't afford.

She's still talking, and maybe he's just as tired as she thinks he is, but he can't focus on a single word. His mind only focuses on the movement of her lips, and he stays fixated on them for just a second too long before he snaps back. "...besides, you're the one who needs to rest your eyes." She closes out her argument with air quotes – a sarcastic trait she picked up from Lance.

Shiro finds himself laughing. When Allura learns something new about earth culture, whether it's a phrase, a gesture, or a joke, she will run it into the ground until she hates it. If she keeps at the rate she's going, air quotes will be in the same Earth Culture Graveyard as milkshakes and knock-knock jokes. She still isn't all that great with puns, and she makes sure that everyone on the castelship knows it.

Shiro straightens his back. "Yeah, but why would we finish it tomorrow when we can finish it tonight?" he points out before he leans back and interlaces his fingers behind his head. "Besides, I won't be able to sleep tonight anyway." It's a confession he forgot that's his secret to keep.

Her playful smile is replaced with a worried frown, and he immediately realizes that he'd said too much. She sits up from her slouched position on the couch. "Why won't you be able to sleep?" she asks before he can cover up his mistake.

"It's not a big deal, Allura, honestly," he says. This is a conversation he doesn't want to have. Not during Late Night Book Club Time.

She removes her legs from Shiro's lap to sit up completely. Almost immediately, he misses her warmth. "It most certainly is a big deal." There she goes again with her air quotes. "If you cannot sleep, then you need to inform me at once. It's dangerous to go into battle when you haven't had the proper rest. Are your sleeping quarters not to your liking? If so, I can arrange to have new bedding installed in all of the rooms." She's already pulling out her tablet to make a note for the changes she needs to make.

"My bed is fine, Allura." He honestly can't complain because it's a huge step up from the cold prison floors he used to sleep on. "I just have trouble sleeping sometimes."

He's doing nothing to dig himself the hole he's in because Allura won't let him. "Why is that?"

"Because, I just feel…" his voice dies off as he tries to find the right words. "...more safe when I'm awake. It's just how I am." _How they made me._ (1) There's a lot of unspoken words in that sentence and they are both painfully aware of it.

A heavy silence falls over them and for a moment that stretches for far longer than he's comfortable with, neither knows what to say. Shiro's hand twitches and suddenly the loose fabric on the couch is the most interesting thing in the universe. He didn't plan on revealing such a personal detail about himself and now that he did, he's stuck in a situation he would rather not be in.

"What can I do to help?" she asks so softly that it's barely above a whisper, but it pierces through the silence like a siren.

Shiro smirks. "You can finish reading."

"I'm being serious."

"I'm being serious, too," he says. She gives him a tight look that's full of doubt, and he sighs while he runs his fingers through his hair. Quickly, he thinks up a way to word what he's about to say without revealing anymore of his secrets. At this point, he sort of wishes he had just agreed with Allura and called it a night when she offered it. "Look, I don't...I don't know what it is about you, but being around you…" he drifts off again, hoping she understands what he means while simultaneously praying she doesn't.

"Me?" She looks taken aback, and horror along with guilt fills her eyes. "I'm the reason why you can't sleep?"

"No!" he answers quickly, although it's half the truth. When his nightmares don't haunt him, her eyes do...and her laugh…and her smile. Shiro shakes the thoughts away. "No, that's not where I was going with this."

"Then where are you going with this?" She's making this really hard for him and she has no idea.

Shiro sucks in a deep breath. "It's just...you help me feel...safe when I'm awake," he says finally after stumbling over each choice of words. The uncertainty in his voice is painfully obvious, but he finds the courage to continue. "Its like I feel calmer around you, and my mind isn't racing a thousand miles a minute. To make it sound simple, it actually feels like I _can_ sleepwhen I'm around you..." Shiro doesn't look at her when he finishes explaining. It's a huge burden off of his chest, but at the same time, its like he opened another pathway that's even more complicated than the one he's currently on. He knows his cheeks are scarlet with embarrassment, and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

Allura looks at him, trying to fully understand what he's actually trying to say. It takes a moment for her to register his explanation. The silence is unnerving, setting Shiro on edge. Maybe she understands more than what he wants her to, and she's just trying to find a way to let him down easy. If that was the case, he can take it – he's already prepared his heart long ago.

"I think I understand," she finally says after a long stretch of stillness.

Shiro's eyes widen as they jerk to hers while his heart climbs up into his throat; out of fear or excitement, it's hard to tell when she's looking at him like that. "You do?"

Allura nods slowly. "Its my quintessence."

Shiro blinks at her and says nothing, as he is both relieved and somewhat afflicted. There is a strong, powerful urge to confess to her right here and now, but the rational, safe side of him quickly tosses out that idea. The only thing he can manage to say is, "What?"

"My quintessence," she repeats, conjuring forth some of her magic into the fine tips of her fingers before she reaches over to lay her hand atop his. He can't see it, but he can definitely feel the flow of warm, tingling energy as it transfers from her and into him. This isn't his first time getting a taste of her magic, but the delicate surge of power still manages to take him by surprise. Her thumb ghosts over his knuckles and mimics the lover's touch that haunts his dreams. It's such a gentle contact that sets his soul on fire and right now, he wants to do nothing more than burn.

"...and when I'm relaxed, it can simulate that emotion to anyone within a close vicinity, which is why you may feel the way you do." He snaps back to reality just in time to hear the end of her explanation. He still doesn't think he fully understands because the only thing that's flooding his mind is her hand resting casually on top of his.

It's funny how the simple things she does is enough to completely dismantle him. When her hands leaves his, it takes a piece of him with it.

"That…" He clears his throat before he can continue, "That makes sense." It's not a nice save but it's all he's able to manage on such short notice. "So...can we continue?"

She looks him over, reevaluating her decision. When he gives her the same puppy eyes she gives him, she can't help but roll her eyes and reopen the book. "Okay, I'll keep reading, but if you rest your eyes again," she's really reliant on these air quotes. She's really putting them to work tonight, isn't she, "then we're calling it a night. Do I make myself clear, Shiro?"

He nods with a goofy grin. "Yes, ma'am!"

Allura quickly scans the page before she finds the sentence where she left off. She readjusts herself and so does Shiro as they both fall back into their original positions. As soon as she opens her mouth, he's transported back to the outskirts of the Moonfyre Forrest and back into the song that is her voice.

It doesn't take long for history to repeat itself. The last half hour is a blur to him - all of the plot points melt together and he has no idea what evil plan has been foiled or is currently in development.

"Shiro?"

His head jerks forward at her voice. "I'm awake, 'Lura," he manages to slur out despite being seconds away from passing out.

"Come here before you fall over, you poor thing."

If he wasn't so out of it, he would have definitely had the right state of mind to register her words, but he's too far gone to even think straight. A firm tug from Allura has him tipping over into her arms. She rearranges his heavy body with ease before she has his head resting on her stomach with her petite frame positioned under his.

He goes by instinct alone – as if he's practiced this thousands of times before, maybe in his dreams– and he wraps his arms around her middle bringing himself closer to her. He's never felt so relaxed before, especially when Allura starts to card her long fingers through his hair. Once again, he can't see it, but he can definitely feel the quintessence seep from her fingertips and transfer into him, releasing all tension.

"If you keep that up, you're gonna make me fall asleep."

She laughs but doesn't stop in her ministrations. "That's the point. Now relax. I've got you." It's all the validation he needs before completely gives himself to her and melts into her embrace. The last thing he hears before exhaustion takes over is her soft voice as she continues to read from the pages.

Dazed and confused with an overwhelming sense of security, Shiro slowly opens his eyes. It takes a second to take in his surroundings, and when he does, there is panic that's quickly followed by relief. No matter how many times it happens, it's always such a strange sensation to always wake up with no memory of ever falling asleep to begin with. It's one of those things that he will never get used to.

With a deep breath, his mind puts together the pieces of the last few hours. He remembers reading with Allura, and their talk. But after that...he's drawing a blank.

Suddenly, he becomes all too aware of the soft body breathing under him, and he freezes, his heart leaping to his throat. His head shoots up and his eyes immediately dart up to meet Allura, afraid to see her reaction of him falling asleep on her. He lets out a sigh of relief when he realizes that she's asleep. Strangely enough, it doesn't ease his heart.

Sure, they've grown closer over all the years they've spent together, but they've never been this(1) close. He's never seen her like this before. She's gorgeous even as she sleeps. Still propped up against the armrest, her head is lolled to the side, and one of her arms is around him while the other is outstretched limply to the side. The book now lays haphazardly on the ground in a heap of bent pages.

As much as he wants to be greedy and stay like this for the rest of the night, he knows that the couch, especially in the position she's trapped in, will only result in a stiff back in the morning. As calmly as he can manage, he carefully unwraps his body from around hers and stands. Almost immediately, as if she misses his warmth, she stirs, shrinking into herself.

Stretching his body alleviates some of the tension in his muscles from being stuffed on the small couch. He's glad he's made the right call because spending the night here would definitely result with an aching back in the morning. He picks up the book from the ground and straightens it's pages before they can permanently crease in their bent positions. When he's done, he places the book on the nightstand before he turns his attention back to the sleeping beauty.

He mentally debates whether or not he wants to wake her, but he knows that her sleeping schedule could be just as reckless as his own. Lifting her from the couch is easy– navigating through the dark halls of the castleship as quickly and as quietly as he could without disturbing her or running into one of his nosy teammates is the hard part. In the distance, he hears Lance and Keith in the rec room. As much as he wants to scold them for staying up so late, he currently has a job to do and that was to get from here to her without being spotted.

"Take this turn, it's longer but it'll be easier to get past them." Her quiet voice startles him, but he follows her instructions, dipping into the shadows that leads to another hallway.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to watch you leave the light on in my office." He could hear the smirk in her voice without even looking at her. He didn't mean to do it on purpose, it was just one of those things he should have thought through before he decided to pick her up. Sacrifices had to be made.

"Sorry," he apologized, "I'll go back once I get you to bed."

"Don't worry about it," she says through a yawn. "Also, Katie is up ahead on your left, stay here for a moment until she passes."

Did no one on this ship believe in a healthy sleep schedule? Mentally planning out the lecture he was giving everyone in the morning, he did as he was told and sinks back into the shadows for good measure, bringing her body close to his. In the back of his mind, he wonders why he hasn't put her down yet – she's obviously awake and alert enough to direct him. He likes to think that she likes being carried, the way she rests her head on his chest tells him so.

He doesn't stay hidden long before Pidge wanders in the opposite direction, completely oblivious to the leaders perched up at the end of the corridor. Once the coast is clear, it's a straight shot to her bedroom. Shiro props Allura up in a way so she can unlock her door and it slides open with a mechanical whoosh. He quickly steps in to avoid any other paladin he probably has the bad luck of running into.

Once inside, he could set her down, he thinks to himself. Hell, he could have set her down while they were still standing outside. Or even when he realized that she was awake. But it felt more chivalrous to place her down on the center of her bed.

"Goodnight, Princess," he says once he settles her down. "Same time tomorrow? I promise I won't fall asleep on you this time."

She smiles. "Oh, I thought you were just resting your eyes?" This time, she doesn't use her air quotes to push her agenda. Her sarcastic tone is strong enough on its own.

"Oh, you must love it when you're right, don't you?"

"It keeps me young."

He laughs at her before he turns to leave. He expects a lot of things to happen; he expects that as soon as he leaves, he'll be met with each nosy paladin waiting for him on the other side of that door with shit-eating grins, he expects that when he gets to his room, he'll lay awake in his bed, unable to ever reach the same level of relaxation he felt when he was in her arms. Yes, he expects a lot of things, but never in a million years did he expect for her to reach out towards him.

"Stay with me."

He wants nothing more than to stay with her. He wants to spend the rest of his life, both living and dead, with her. But...she has no idea what she's asking of him. She has no idea that her words don't have the same meaning to her as it does to him.

"Allura, I can–"

She gave his arm a slight tug. "You said so yourself that you couldn't sleep without me." Another double meaning she has no idea about. "Stay here with me, and my quintessence can help you get rest."

He knew that conversation would come back to bite him in the ass. He let out a heavy sigh, he's already dug himself in this hole, and there was no other way out except for the truth. "Allura, listen, it's…" he stumbles over the simple sentence that has all the weight of his world riding on it. "...it's not the quintessence."

There is a long pause.

"I know."

Her words steal his breath away and almost makes his legs weak. She doesn't know what she's saying.

"I do." Had he said that aloud? "We can talk about...us in the morning. But for now, just stay with me."

He searched her eyes, desperately looking for any indication that she was serious. When he only found certainty in them, he finally let her tug him into bed. This isn't happening. He's dreaming. He's still asleep in the study with her.

"You aren't dreaming, Shiro," she laughed out. Why couldn't he keep his thoughts to himself tonight?

He settles in beside her, and he didn't even protest when she brought herself closer. His heart should be racing but it isn't. He's just as relaxed as he was when she reads him to sleep. Once again, her fingers dig into his scalp as she cradles him close to her heart. He thought he would be more alert, but the sound of her heartbeat combined with the feeling of her arms around him is enough to lull him to sleep.

"Oh, and Shiro?"

"Hmm?"

"It was Nixia."

"I knew it was that bitch."

Maybe this is real. But just in case it wasn't, he doesn't think he ever wants to wake up.


End file.
